A New Year

I can’t believe it’s 2008 already. I don’t have a long list of resolutions per se, but there is a lot that I want to do this year. I have several books waiting for me like “The Art of Power” which was given to me by my friend Priscilla and two books by Pema Chodron “Start Where You Are” and “Don’t Bite the Hook” – all of which I look forward to reading. Naturally, I want to be more disciplined about exercise – that’s a perpetual resolution. I told my friend Peter the other day that I plan to practice meditation every day and take 15 minutes every afternoon to enjoy a cup of tea. He kind of laughed and said good luck with that. He’s right, I’m afraid. I’ll be really good about it for a week or so and then I’ll get busy at work and won’t take the time. Still, I’ll give it a shot. I also plan to write more on this here blog. I’ve been playing around on another hosting site, too – it seems to have more flexibility when posting pictures – so I’ll probably move over there. I’ll post the link when I’m ready to unveil the new site.

Tom, being the adventurous one, wants to do some fun things this year. He wants to go whale watching and go up to the mountains so we can do some sledding with the boys. We also talked last night about signing the boys up for soccer or Tball this summer. They may need it more after they start school since I’m not sure how much physical education they’ll get. In any case, they’re ready for it this year.

Dean’s resolutions are: he wants to go to the new park a lot and he wants to collect leaves.

Jack’s resolutions are: he wants to collect rocks and crystals. So he can kill the bad guys.

Here’s to a New Year!

 

Random Bits

When Jack rides on his scooter he peddles with his left foot and his right foot is on the scooter. Dean peddles with his right foot. It’s as automatic as the sunrise.

When dealing with a Lego kit, Jack wants to put it together exactly as directed. Dean claims he wants to help but really only wants to make off with little pieces to build his own thing. Once it’s done, Jack isn’t so interested in playing with it. For him, the entertainment is in the building. Dean wants to play with the completed project but will often take it apart and redesign it to fit his own vision.

As I have mentioned before, Jack loves to help me cook. Last evening, after I had chopped some fresh basil and fresh oregano Jack leaned down to smell the oregano and then got this beatific expression on his face, sighed and said, “mmmm, it’s minty”. I leaned down for a sniff and sure enough, it has a minty scent. Is it possible I have a budding chef on my hands? Oh, that would be amazing.

The other day Dean said to me, “I know how you can tell me and Jack apart. Jack’s eyes are like circles and mine are like almonds.” Really. Where does he get this stuff?

We had a babysitter last night so we could go to our friends’ house for a little after dinner party of appetizers and karaoke. I got forced into singing “Achy Breaky Heart” of all the ridiculous things. I love to sing but get embarrassed doing it in front of people I don’t know. It’s silly but I still care too much what other people think. It’s something else Jack and I have in common.

Dean has a remarkable singing voice, full of emotion and vibrato. I love listening to him sing but he gets self conscious if I ask him to sing and then he uses a baby voice or a silly voice. So, I just have to enjoy his singing when it comes naturally and make sure not to let him know I heard him. I vividly remember singing in the back seat when I was not much older than Dean – I’m sure it was loud and off key – and my dad turned the volume down suddenly and it was just my voice. I still remember how embarrassed I got. I don’t want Dean to feel like I’m trying to catch him or embarrass him. I just want him to sing. Not that I think my dad was trying to embarrass me – it’s just how I felt.

The boys are playing well together this morning. Finally. I love sitting here watching them with their heads bent toward each other, talking about how they’re going to play, what the game is. “And then, you pretend like you fell off the boat? And I’ll come to save you?” It’s so beautiful when it’s real.

 

Christmas Eve Conversation

Dean: Daddy, did you see this? (Shows him 2 feathers each with a heart strung onto them)
Daddy: No, they’re very nice. Where did you get them?
Dean: I made them. One is for me and one is for Mommy. Do you know why it has a heart on it?
Daddy: No, why?
Dean: Because I love Mommy. She’s all the Christmas I need.

 

Mind over matter

Due to what I believe was a simple miscommunication, I found myself stuffing bottles of wine into festive bags for distribution to various staff members. The bottles weren’t from me but a simple offer to help turned into something much bigger and, once offered, help isn’t something to be rescinded. So, I stuffed while I quietly fumed. Every few moments I would remind myself that this is not a big deal, that I’m being a good team member, that good deeds do not go unnoticed. I maintained a calm serenity despite my initial frustration.

I returned to my desk many cases later and clicked on my Buddhist meditation of the day (kindly distributed to me by my home page Google). It said “Turn your mind away from things which are not permanent.”

How perfect.

 

Cooker Girl

I love to cook and recently I’ve been recording cooking shows to give me new ideas. One of my favorites is Everyday Italian with Giada DeLaurentiis. Sometimes Jack watches with me. If you don’t know who Giada is (where the heck have you been?), just google her.

Or – here’s a picture:She’s pretty. Sometimes Daddy likes to watch with me, too.

Anyway, so the other night Tom was tucking the boys into bed and he later told me about the following conversation that he had with Jack:

Daddy: You’re so lucky to have such a nice mommy. She’s nice and pretty and she’s such a good cook.

Jack: Well, she’s not the best cook in the whole world.

Daddy: Well, maybe not the best in the whole world but she’s right up there.

Jack: She’s not as good as cooker girl.

It’s true, you know. I’m not as good as cooker girl.

 

NaBloPoMo Recap

So, yeah we couldn’t get our wireless router to work on Friday night and that’s why I had to phone in the haiku. But c’mon, at least it was a Haiku! I mean, doesn’t that prove I was thinking?

I was disappointed. Not that I had anything particularly brilliant to write; I was probably just going to recap the month (yawn) and write about what I would do differently. Some of the other blogs I read had themes! Themes! That’s smart. I wish I had done a theme. Like Twin Tuesday or Wonderful Wednesday? Or Thinking Thursday. Snapshot Saturday?

I had other big plans too like publishing a reading list but the only thing I managed was the link to Shelfari and then I couldn’t even remember all the books that I’ve read. I also planned on doing a recipe each week but I didn’t pick a day to do that so I had to do it randomly and then I’d forget.

I liked the challenge of having to post every day but I don’t think the discipline made my posts any more creative or inspiring. Instead, I just kinda felt like I was late for my assignment and oh crap what am I going to do? I’ll just toss this photo up on the web and write a cute tagline for it. Then I felt guilty.

That said, I’m glad I did it and I will sign up for it again next year with a little more structure.

Right now, I’m enjoying not having a deadline.

 

Memories

Ever notice how you can be just minding your own business and suddenly, something comes along and triggers a memory? Maybe it’s a song that you hear on the radio or a scent that wafts near you and then, without realizing it you’re reliving an event or just a period in your life. Hopefully, it’s a happy period.
I’m thinking about this because of my previous post with the recipe card for Calamari Sauce. It was written 15 years ago by my friend Mary Beth and her handwriting took me back in time, when I was struggling . . . struggling to find myself, to figure out what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. It was a time in which I desperately wanted my relationship with Tom to work but I didn’t know how to be me because I wasn’t sure who I was. Looking back, she seems like another girl – someone I knew once who was fun and nice but a little insecure and needy. At some times I was just the kind of friend you needed, the kind who will drop everything and help you move and take you out to get your mind off your sadness. At other times, I was the wrong kind of honest and probably hurt my friends because of it. I’m not proud of her.
My evolution has taken years and still, I’m not done yet.
Meanwhile, I marvel at the way memories come flooding back – the writing on a recipe card that reminds me of old friends, old ways.

 

Two-Oh-Six

My cholesterol is down to 206 from 271!!!

Without medication!!

I’m so happy!

You can tell because I’ve used multiple explanation points!

Seriously!