Last night Jack came into the kitchen and offered to help me make dinner. As he scampered off to wash his hands, I thought about how he could help. When he returned, I told him he could slice the mushrooms. I cleaned them for him and he sliced them using one of these:

When he was done, he asked what else could he do? I told him he could chop the onion and garlic using one of these:

Then, I handed him the cleaned green beans and showed him how to trim them. He trimmed the ends and snapped them in half (except for the long ones, he wanted them to stay long). While he did that Dean stirred the onions and garlic in the pan. And added salt. Pinch after pinch of salt. Until I realized what he was doing and moved the salt. I must have caught him in time because it was fine but I wonder how much salt he would have added if I hadn’t?

It was really nice having them help me. Jack asks a lot of questions “why do you pound the pork chops”, “why do you put the onions in”, “why do onions make you cry” but more amazingly, he remembers what I tell him. When Tom got home Jack told him what he helped with and explained that onions get really sweet when they cook for a long time. Dinner was delicious and we had great family time at the same time. By the way, my new favorite food is Israeli Couscous:

It’s creamy and delicious, especially when cooked in chicken broth.

Due to what I believe was a simple miscommunication, I found myself stuffing bottles of wine into festive bags for distribution to various staff members. The bottles weren’t from me but a simple offer to help turned into something much bigger and, once offered, help isn’t something to be rescinded. So, I stuffed while I quietly fumed. Every few moments I would remind myself that this is not a big deal, that I’m being a good team member, that good deeds do not go unnoticed. I maintained a calm serenity despite my initial frustration.

I returned to my desk many cases later and clicked on my Buddhist meditation of the day (kindly distributed to me by my home page Google). It said “Turn your mind away from things which are not permanent.”

How perfect.

I love to cook and recently I’ve been recording cooking shows to give me new ideas. One of my favorites is Everyday Italian with Giada DeLaurentiis. Sometimes Jack watches with me. If you don’t know who Giada is (where the heck have you been?), just google her.

Or – here’s a picture:She’s pretty. Sometimes Daddy likes to watch with me, too.

Anyway, so the other night Tom was tucking the boys into bed and he later told me about the following conversation that he had with Jack:

Daddy: You’re so lucky to have such a nice mommy. She’s nice and pretty and she’s such a good cook.

Jack: Well, she’s not the best cook in the whole world.

Daddy: Well, maybe not the best in the whole world but she’s right up there.

Jack: She’s not as good as cooker girl.

It’s true, you know. I’m not as good as cooker girl.

Back in September, Tom gave me a gift certificate good for 2 cooking classes at this quaint little place. My first class, on tamale making, was tonight. It was really fun and I came home with a dozen tamales. But that’s not what this post is about.

This post is also not about driving home from tamale class in the rain through towns with which I am unfamiliar. Suffice to say, the older I get the more I want to stay within a small circle near my house. But, that’s not what this is about.

Here is what this post is about. I walked through the door tonight, trying to be quiet so I didn’t disturb the boys, and as I walked past their room, Tom gestured for me to go in. Dean looked at me and said in the sweetest voice, “I wrote your name” and handed an envelope to me with my name on it. “Open it”, he said. Carefully, so as not to rip the paper, I opened the envelope. Inside, resting between the folds of blue felt was a pair of earrings, long ones made of a dozen sparkly hearts all lined up in a shimmery row. “Do you know why there are so many hearts”, he asked. No, I said. “It’s because that’s how much I love you”, he said.

I don’t ever want to forget that moment.

So, yeah we couldn’t get our wireless router to work on Friday night and that’s why I had to phone in the haiku. But c’mon, at least it was a Haiku! I mean, doesn’t that prove I was thinking?

I was disappointed. Not that I had anything particularly brilliant to write; I was probably just going to recap the month (yawn) and write about what I would do differently. Some of the other blogs I read had themes! Themes! That’s smart. I wish I had done a theme. Like Twin Tuesday or Wonderful Wednesday? Or Thinking Thursday. Snapshot Saturday?

I had other big plans too like publishing a reading list but the only thing I managed was the link to Shelfari and then I couldn’t even remember all the books that I’ve read. I also planned on doing a recipe each week but I didn’t pick a day to do that so I had to do it randomly and then I’d forget.

I liked the challenge of having to post every day but I don’t think the discipline made my posts any more creative or inspiring. Instead, I just kinda felt like I was late for my assignment and oh crap what am I going to do? I’ll just toss this photo up on the web and write a cute tagline for it. Then I felt guilty.

That said, I’m glad I did it and I will sign up for it again next year with a little more structure.

Right now, I’m enjoying not having a deadline.

A Haiku for the final day:

Internet is down
On NaBloPoMo’s last day
Disappoints blogger.

Ever notice how you can be just minding your own business and suddenly, something comes along and triggers a memory? Maybe it’s a song that you hear on the radio or a scent that wafts near you and then, without realizing it you’re reliving an event or just a period in your life. Hopefully, it’s a happy period.
I’m thinking about this because of my previous post with the recipe card for Calamari Sauce. It was written 15 years ago by my friend Mary Beth and her handwriting took me back in time, when I was struggling . . . struggling to find myself, to figure out what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. It was a time in which I desperately wanted my relationship with Tom to work but I didn’t know how to be me because I wasn’t sure who I was. Looking back, she seems like another girl – someone I knew once who was fun and nice but a little insecure and needy. At some times I was just the kind of friend you needed, the kind who will drop everything and help you move and take you out to get your mind off your sadness. At other times, I was the wrong kind of honest and probably hurt my friends because of it. I’m not proud of her.
My evolution has taken years and still, I’m not done yet.
Meanwhile, I marvel at the way memories come flooding back – the writing on a recipe card that reminds me of old friends, old ways.

Once upon a time I was a waitress in an Italian restaurant which is where I met my friend Geri. We spent a lot of time complaining about bad tippers, sneaking looks at the good looking boys, and disappearing into the alley to have smoke breaks at every available opportunity. One year the owners decided to bring in a new chef and revamp the menu. Geri fell in love with the new sauce that came with the Fried Calamari. An obsession was born! The recipe is below along with an excerpt from the email that accompanied it. Enjoy!

I just had to scan the actual recipe card for you. Because you know a recipe with a provenance is always more interesting. So this recipe originally came from Mi P____ Mary Beth wrote it down for me, probably about the time I was living in the “fishing cabin” in Pasadena. From there it came with me to Silverlake. and then I lost track of it. I moved to Alhambra. Then last year I moved to San Diego and there in a box full of kitchen gadgets, I found it…..dusty, coffee stained, yellowed, Hallelujah! and now it has a place of honor, magnetized to the refrigerator. The actual card has been around almost 15 years. The recipe doesn’t give directions on how to prepare the ingredients so I’ll just say “Chop everything up finely and mix it together” Voila!
I remember being just MAD about his sauce so consequently found out its also good on fish or chicken or with shrimp as an alternative to cocktail sauce. Also you can mix it with black beans, corn and tomatoes for a light side dish/salad AND THEN, if you have a little left over you can add mayo to it and it becomes a completely different (but still delicious) sauce, or dip for veggies or chips etc.
Geez good thing I got over this obsession huh? Hee hee.
Love,
Geri

I found this in Jack’s cubby at school. It’s from a girl who went on to kindergarten this year and this was her parting note. It is written on a postcard from The Metropolitan Museum of Art and the picture is “Apples and Grapes” by Claude Monet.

Jack -
I will remember you forever and I will miss you. I love you Jack. Thank you for everyday for holding the swing. You’re the best buddy ever. I hope one day I can have a play date with you. If not I will still love you forever.
T—

Dean: What’s an emeny?
Jack: Well, if you were a good guy and somebody else was a bad guy? Well, then you’re anemone.

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